tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55104272011-04-21T13:59:09.463-07:00Bob's Bits and BitesBob is a man whose hobby is thinking. He also happens to be an avid collector of tires.Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00559142277603386361noreply@blogger.comBlogger111100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510427.post-1075167838764781252004-01-26T17:40:00.000-08:002004-01-26T17:45:30.763-08:00Please explain to me the phenomenon of Roseanne Barr. And please explain this: You're John Goodman and you've got a sly little movie career going. And yet you commit yourself to a series. Or, more to the point, you commit yourself to working with--and even doing love scenes with--a more dreadful harridan than ever came shrieking and raging through the doors of Wal-Mart on the day after Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00559142277603386361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510427.post-1062554997834500792003-09-02T19:09:00.000-07:002003-09-04T17:57:39.340-07:00There are a lot of bad movie makers who receive acclaim (Spike Lee, Ronnie Howard, Rob Reiner, Joel Schumacher, to name a few), but the absolute worst has to be Oliver Stone. ABC recently aired his movie about football, called something like "Punt, Pass & Kick." I happened upon it while exercising my remote control, and my thumb gave pause. I thought, "Hmm, a gridiron flick. Sports movies Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00559142277603386361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510427.post-1062288202504754062003-08-30T17:03:00.000-07:002003-08-30T17:04:48.696-07:00I’m not as big a fan of “The Three Stooges” as men are made out to be, but I feel compelled to do what little I can to right a terrible wrong. Curly is certainly the world’s favorite Stooge, but I happen to think Shemp is superior to his brother. Curly is more of a one-trick pony: he does everything loudly and largely. Shemp, on the other hand, can play big and he can play small. Plus, there’Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00559142277603386361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510427.post-1060136635338928812003-08-05T19:23:00.000-07:002003-08-05T19:23:55.316-07:00 May I say something for the record? Julia Roberts is a woman completely devoid of charm. And you know what really bugs me about her? She plays nothing but "noble" characters. I think that's the most ungenerous sort of storytelling: Set up a character who is completely noble and is maybe taking on the Powers That Be (rich white guys). Meanwhile, charge the poor schmoe in the audience $8.50 Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00559142277603386361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510427.post-1058639227728956342003-07-19T11:27:00.000-07:002003-07-19T11:27:07.730-07:00 Do you get the feeling that you might have met George W. at a party in 1979? He was the obligatory older guy. (Thirty-five or so at the time.) He had a bottle opener hanging from his belt. He was the "Official Bottle Opener." He was wearing very short tennis shorts, flip-flops, and a T-shirt that said, CUERVO GOLD. EAT THE WORM. His hair was parted in the middle and combed over his ears,Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00559142277603386361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510427.post-1058233028960563832003-07-14T18:37:00.000-07:002003-07-14T18:37:08.916-07:00 President Bush said of OBL, "He can run, but he can't hide." It turns out that he can indeed hide. But, what with his kidney condition, his doctor probably advises him against running.
It is always a terrible thing when people use violence to make a statement. It is doubly terrible when the statement is a silly one. Sirhan Sirhan's statement, as I recall, was, "I did it for my country." Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00559142277603386361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510427.post-1057980531583273062003-07-11T20:28:00.000-07:002003-07-14T18:35:31.480-07:00 Because any number of murderous Arabs are out to get me, I went ahead and bought lard the other day.
The Crocodile Hunter clearly loves crocodiles, but by all accounts his love goes unrequited.
If I ever have occasion to write a headline about "Batman," I just might include the word "holy" in it.
When young professionals on TV shows are eating take-out food around a conference tableJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00559142277603386361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510427.post-1057022044130775242003-06-30T18:14:00.000-07:002003-07-01T18:42:02.856-07:00 If you ever hear me speak the phrase "my bad," then at least one of life’s enduring mysteries will be settled - the mystery of whether demons can possess us.
If I were Dennis Rodman, I'd find it exhausting just to look in the mirror.
If J-Lo were interesting, imagine how much attention she'd get.
Wrong again, again. In 1990, I declared that rap music had a shelf life of another six Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00559142277603386361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510427.post-1056595048306650862003-06-25T19:37:00.000-07:002003-07-01T18:43:38.216-07:00 If Arnold Schwarzenegger's mouth was transplanted into my head, I'm pretty sure food would no longer taste as good.
Has anyone else noticed the proliferation of women's bare underarms in television ads?
What's the most dismal channel on the tube? MTV.
Only once have I experienced a "runner's high." It occurred the last time I ran, at the precise moment when I decided this would be Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00559142277603386361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510427.post-1056593465126054842003-06-25T19:11:00.000-07:002003-07-19T11:29:18.110-07:00 What is it that compels young women to shout “whooo hoo!” when they expose their breasts in public?
If Jesus Christ and Drew Barrymore guested on the same episode of Charlie Rose, which of the two would be treated with more gravitas?
Men on the religious right who believe homosexuality is a lifestyle choice have apparently never had a prostate exam.
The next logical step in talk Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00559142277603386361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5510427.post-1056574614680209962003-06-25T13:56:00.000-07:002003-06-28T13:43:20.360-07:00What gets lost in the multitude of controversies surrounding Spike Lee is this fact: his movies stink.
Wrong again. I figured "South Park" would last about two-thirds of an episode. Wish I had been right.
A lot of marketers urge me to "seize the day." But exactly how does one go about seizing the day? Does one get down on all fours and chase pigs through a sty, as Verlaines and Rimbaud Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00559142277603386361noreply@blogger.com